how to ask someone on a date Nov 30, 2018
One of the most asked questions I get is how do I ask her/him out on a date? I think in the era where we can simply swipe right or left to hopefully connect with that lovely vision in the picture, it seems to be a much more difficult issue to actually ask someone out in person.
Don't despair it is actually easier then you think, and you really need to have the right mindset going into it. It can seem daunting and scary as we can perceive the stakes to be really high. After all what happens if we are "rejected"?
So how do you reduce the anxiety and predate asking jitters? First of all you have to remain positive. Remember the worst someone can ever say is "No". It is not the end of the world. Stop thinking it is such a big deal. You are no worse off if you hear "No" from your desired possible date. The world will not come crashing down. Put it back into perspective by realizing if someone says "No" you are no worse off then you were in the first place. If they say "Yes" then awesome. Think of the old saying "Nothing risked, nothing gained".
Ask very casually for the date, say something like "Hey I am heading down to this great coffee shop, wanna join me for a latte?" This takes the high stakes pressure off of you, as it seems very casual. If for any reason the person says they can not, don't despair there may be a legit reason some one can not make it this time.
Take the time to get to know the person so you have a better idea of what they like, and if they have anyone else in their lives right now. If you know what they like it makes it easier to invite them to something very casually that they would like to go to. A person who loves art may not find it enticing to go to a football game.
Offer to help the lady or man out as this is an easy way in the door which you will not feel like you are asking for a date. For instance if the woman you like needs to get a new car, offer to go around the dealerships with her. Most women like a knight in shining armor. For all you ladies, you could offer to go clothes shopping with your gentleman friend. Then when you enjoy being with your new found friend, it will be much easier to ask them out on a official date after you have already warmed them up.
By also taking the time to see if they are seeing someone right now you don't have to set yourself up for possibly falling flat on your face by asking out a person who is already seeing someone.
Remember to be positive, confident and relaxed! Just be casual, and whatever you do. Do not work yourself up before asking someone on a date. You know who you are. If you are the person who keeps over analyzing everything in your head, you have to tell yourself to stop that nonsense.
Picture the outcome being positive. See the person saying Yes, that would be great." and at worst them saying "Hey I would love to but I can not right now". Do not picture negative outcomes before you ask.
The earth is not going to swallow you up, you are not going to die, and most likely you will get a positive response. Most of all you will get over your fear and grow just by asking.